How to Help Someone With Social Anxiety Disorder
Social anxiety disorder can be hard to cope with for those suffering from it. At the same time it can be difficult for people to really understand how the person suffering from social anxiety feels. Many people really want to help the sufferer, by trying to make situations more comfortable. However, to genuinely understand how we can help a person suffering from social anxiety, we need to understand just how this disorder works.
So what exactly is social anxiety?
Social anxiety is a form of anxiety problem. It is often referred to as social phobia. People with social phobia are suffering from extreme shyness and are extremely self-conscious. Now it is normal to be nervous when first meeting someone or asking them out on a date, but when you have social anxiety, the feeling of fear gets so intense that they often avoid the situation altogether.
People with this disorder interact normally with family and friends, but when the meet new people, their extreme fears come in to play. The result is usually that they go into a tense, muted state, and start avoiding situations which may potentially lead to these fears.
What Are People With Social Anxiety Disorder Afraid of?
People with social anxiety often fear embarrassment, criticism, making mistakes and being laughed at. Now most people fear these things, but they are not things that we constantly worry about. With social phobia the fear of these things becomes so strong that it really gets quite irrational. A person with social phobia will therefore avoid situations that might trigger this fear.
Although avoiding situations might seem like a relief at first, in the long run it reinforces the fears and makes them stronger. Avoiding social situations will also lead to the person missing out on opportunities and potential friends. Because of the reinforcement of the fears, the anxiety will grow stronger, and will be harder to beat.
How to help someone with social anxiety disorder?
If you want to help someone with social anxiety disorder, you should always present the person with opportunities to come with you in social situations. The person may reject the first times, but keep being encouraging and positive. Don't show disappointment or get angry if the person doesn't want to come with you. This will only lead to feelings of guilt and even further fuel the anxiety.
Family and friends are the most important healing tools for people with social phobia. I call them tools, because just like any tool, they can be damaging if not used correctly. Criticisms, putdowns and lectures do not help the person to be more outgoing. They will make the sufferer feel bad, and will lead to guilt. This may very well be what started the anxiety in the first place. Instead, friends and family should be recognizing that the person with anxiety is in fact suffering from a disorder that they did not choose themselves. Be open, encouraging, and congratulate the person when he/she reaches a goal.
Finally, I just want to say that unconditional love is the key to helping out someone with social anxiety. Don't stop loving someone or get mad at them for not wanting to go out. They don't mean to be rude although it may sometimes seem like they are. Realize that deep down they are really crying out for help, and that they are victims of a terrible disorder. But the disorder is definitely curable and controllable, so help them with what you can.
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