Social Anxiety Disorder (which is also known as social phobia) creates an intense fear of social settings, in particular, when it is an unfamiliar situation, and the person concerned is put 'under the spotlight' or even feel they are being looked at or scrutinized by others. Fearing that you don't 'fit in' or that others may be thinking badly of you or perhaps you don't live up to their expectations is a very common experience.
Most people suffering from social anxiety disorder, they tend to avoid and stay way from social settings. Unfortunately, this can untimately be the worst thing to do. They are actually 'putting fuel on the fire' so to speak, but they may feel this is the only solution available. Avoiding the situation in the short- term, may help you feel better, but if the avoidance goes on for a longer period of time, it can interfere with normal day to day routines and causes tremendous distress. No matter how terribly shy you may feel, you can learn to be more comfortable in any social setting, and in return 'get your life back'.
Having low self-esteem is a typical feeling for those with social anxiety disorder and it can come from 'negative thoughts'. Having problems at work, not being able to achieve your goals in life, having difficulty within a relationship or even a fall out with a family member, can all give way to low self-esteem and the feeling that you are 'no good' or a 'failure'. This is a time that you may feel like hitting out at someone, or even hurting yourself. By using certain strategies, you can avoid these feelings getting worse, and start doing things that make you feel better about yourself.
The following are some stressful triggers for people with social anxiety disorder:
- Speaking in a meeting/public
- Talking with authoritative people
- Eating or drinking in public
- Going on a date
- Meeting new people
- Attending parties or other social settings
- Being the centre of attention
- Being watched while doing something
- Taking exams
- Being teased or criticized
- A change in circumstances - a child leaving home
- A dispute with someone close to you
Things to Raise Your Self-Esteem on a Daily Basis:
Take care of yourself - eat healthy foods and - avoid/limit caffeine, tea, energy drinks and chocolate as these act as stimulants that increase anxiety.
- Exercise - Take time out every day to get some exercise outside, like taking a walk, instead of driving to pick up the children from school, walk there instead (within reason of course), any type of outdoor exercise is good for you. If you like dancing - put on your favourite CD - again anything that lifts your mood.
- Spend time with friends.
- Do something that you have been 'putting off' - you will feel much better afterwards, and you have accomplished something.
- Spend time on your appearance, put your make up on, get your hair done, buy something for yourself.
- Prepare a special meal for your friends or family.
- Learn a new skill - you could start by going to evening classes.
- Change your living space around to how you like it. Add some splashes of colour, perhaps some new curtains or cushions, you don't need to break the bank.
- Use any special skills you may have.
- Take some time to do things you enjoy
- Do something nice for a neighbour - invite them in for a coffee, ask if they need help with something. If you are retired or don't work, check out the local voluntary service - they are always looking for helpers and the satisfaction that you can get from doing this, can do wonders for your self-esteem. You are helping someone else who may be less fortunate than yourself.
Making Lists of:
- 5 ways to treat yourself, that doesn't cost money and excluding food
- 5 of your greatest achievements
- 5 ways to make yourself laugh
- 5 of your strengths,
- 5 things you admire about yourself, don't be shy!
- 5 things you could do that makes you feel good
Write your lists, and re-read them every day, especially first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Make changes or additions as you feel appropriate.
Making an Affirmations List
An affirmation list is a list of 'positive' statements that describe the way you feel about yourself. However, they may not describe how you are feeling about yourself at the present time:
- I am a good person
- I deserve to be happy
- I take care of myself - I get plenty exercise, I eat a healthy diet
- I take time out with good friends, which makes me feel good about myself
Make your own list and put copies all over the house, say them out loud to yourself. Write them down again about once a week and repeat, repeat, and they will through time come true for you.
Changing negative thoughts into positive ones will take time and you should persevere. If you use the 'lists' above you will come to notice that you don't have these negative thoughts about yourself so much. Should they come back at any point, start again. Try and always think good things about yourself - be positive!
To reduce self-focus, concentrate on what is actually happening around you, rather than thinking about yourself or your anxiety. Listen to what is being said within a conversation (not your own negative thoughts). Don't always feel you have to keep a conversation going - other people will contribute. Look at other people and the surroundings - focus!
Physical Symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder
These include:
- Sweating or hot flushes
- Trembling or shaking
- Racing heart or tightness of the chest
- Blushing or a red face
- Feeling dizzy or faint
- Shortness of breath
- Nausea and butterflies in the stomach
Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises, yoga, meditation and muscle relaxation will all help to control the physical symptoms of anxiety. Deep breathing and muscle relaxation CDs are widely available on the internet and health shops.
Therapy for Social Anxiety Disorder
Until now, we have been looking at 'self-help' techniques to help with social anxiety disorder - now we will see what professional treatments are available.
The most successful of those is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and has been shown to work best for the treatment of social anxiety disorder, or social phobia. The therapy is based on the theory that what you think affects how you actually feel, and your feelings affect your behavior.. Therefore if you can change the way you think about certain social settings which give you anxiety, you will feel much better.
The cognitive behavioral therapy helps to:
Challenge negative thoughts that trigger the social anxiety and replace them with more positive thinking.
- Face the social situations in a gradual and systematic way, rather than avoiding them.
- Learn how to control the physical symptoms of anxiety through breathing exercises and relaxation techniques.
Group Therapy
Within the cognitive behavioral therapy, group therapy is sometimes used and includes videotaping and observing, acting, and mock interviews which work on the situations people find anxious in the real world. By practicing and being more familiar within the situation they are afraid of, the person will become more comfortable and build their social skills, thus their anxiety becomes less.
Medication
There are several types of medication to relieve the symptoms of social anxiety - but it is not a cure. Medication has been proven to be most helpful when used in addition to cognitive behavioral therapy, and other self-help strategies that get to the 'root-cause' of the social anxiety disorder.
The 3 main types of medication are - beta blockers, antidepressants and benzodiazepines.
The best treatment plan for those suffering from social anxiety disorder obviously varies from one person to another. Some may find that the self-help techniques are enough to ease the symptoms, while others may find they need both the self-help techniques and a course of medication.
The one thing you cannot do is trying to face your biggest fear to begin with. Taking on too much, too soon or forcing things will only reinforce your anxiety.
Social Anxiety Disorder
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